you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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