Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
