Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
