Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
