I wannas sexs uuuuu
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
