you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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