Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize