it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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