that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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