I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
