i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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