Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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