it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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