All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
