I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Randomize
