i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
