Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
