One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
