I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
