Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
