we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
