Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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