the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
