it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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