discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
