I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
