After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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