NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
