You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
