When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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