with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
