He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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