Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
