omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We're too hungover to prance.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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