oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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