just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't deserve a penis
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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