i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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