bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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