No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
