She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
