I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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