This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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