you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
