4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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