They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
