I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think my vagina is haunted
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
