Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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