that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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