Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
