is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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