I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
