I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think people are normalizing furries
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize