fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
