I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
