I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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