I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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