Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Another day, another engagement, another cat
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
