I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i now understand why vodka
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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