Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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