I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
