bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
